Penuel

I have been wrestling all night
like Jacob with the angel
looking for my advantage...

and finding none,
I am forfeit,
but have refused to let go.

Look... I have had a dream;
not an ordinary dream...
and the message was clear:
I am not The One.

I have been ordered
to release you,
because I am holding you back,
and my work
isn't about what I want,
and never was.

I have to wait,
as I always have to wait,
and you have already moved on,
but my energy has you tagged
by the ankle,
an irritable bitch who won't be left behind.

No. It is time
and I have no cause to hurt you,
else I could just trail you
like a jealous plague,
knowing always I was standing in your way.

And I know it is sad,
because I am sad saying it,
writing it,
even thinking it...
but there it is,
It
It
It
and it won't go away.

Trust me, I have wrestled its representative
and found no weakness.
I am not for you
and I need to stop fighting
before I break something
important.