Neither Ready, Nor Prepared

Both day and night I find myself
so hungry my knees tremble
and it isn't for food, for liquor, for romance...

I'm starving for the lost parts, the times of being pampered and spoiled,
the rubbing-my-back-until-I-fall-asleep and the reminders to eat and rest.
I am suffused with nostalgia
for the pleasures of routine,
the absolute wallowing boredom of secure sameness.

They seem the most intensely beautiful things, now
those dull days, running into one another.

The good times always seem so superior in retrospect,
so shiny faced, pictures of old holidays
where everyone is smiling, frozen in a single moment of joy.

It was never the good old days.
There were certainly excellent moments
but any meal replicated can't match the memory of itself
because it's not just the food, not just the liquor...
its the romance we perceived in it
the magic of that minute
the alchemy of you, and them, and then, and there.

Did I say it was boring? Maybe it was.
Maybe I think boring is romantic
at this stage of my life.

Someone else can rub my back.
Will it be the same?
Not hardly.
But pray heaven, it will still be an excellent moment
I'll remember as good times.

 

RCGA

MeMe's Purple Dawn

Perfection

Nobody's perfect
but sometimes there is perfection
even for the broken and flawed
when some other
just as fractured
lifts you to the light
to show your rainbows
and proclaims you
beautiful

RCGA 2010

I AM YOUR GODDESS

In ancient forests I was there for you,   

A constant presence, nascent and aware.

Meandering in brooks of crystal blue

You knew me like your breath, the very air.

Our sweet communion soothed your wild heart

Until you learned to build a wall of stone,

Restraining all my power with your art.

Gone from our glade you walked away, alone.

Occasionally you came back to me

Depleted in your spirits and your mind,

Depending on deep memories set free.

Eased in your soul, you still left me behind.

Someday you’ll come and claim me for your own

Someday you’ll recognize I’ve always known.

RCGA